"How are you feeling?"

I get asked this question a lot, and if I were to answer without thinking, I would say. "I feel like crap!" But I never really know how to answer, actually. The fatigue, especially early on, is un-human, and for many weeks it felt like I had the flu without really having the flu or a fever. I also don't ever want to sound negative or whiny because I am truly grateful to feel like this as it reassures me that I am still pregnant. If I tell you that I threw up, feel free to answer with, "Well that is great news!" Because this is how I've felt about the occasional throwing up over the last 12 weeks! I have very little energy. After 10 hour days filled with lifting and chasing kids and equipment and pretending (to a degree) to be happy and cheerful ALL DAY LONG to co-workers and families, it leads me directly to the couch at the end of the day, staring mindlessly at the TV in silence. Yes, at this point you can think to yourself, "Oh poor Paul!" But man, is he a trooper! He doesn't seem to mind fending for himself for dinner as I attempt to eat cereal, toast, or a popsicle. He doesn't even seem to mind that I have zero energy or motivation to do much of anything on my days off. For him, I am also grateful! It is hard work growing a human! So, in a nutshell, that is how I feel. I look forward to the idea that you feel better in the second trimester, as this begins in just about a week!

12 weeks

Well, I think it is safe to say that it is official...we are going to have a baby! Today, Paul and I went for my 12 week prenatal follow up. As many of you know, it was at my 12 week follow up in March that we learned I had a miscarriage. So, needless to say, today couldn't come fast enough. We sat in the waiting room, and I blinked away tears and tried very hard to not throw up as it seemed like forever waiting to be called back. The very sweet nurse had remembered meeting us last time, and didn't hesitate to immediately find the ultrasound machine and pull it into our room. When our doctor came in, she too, wasted no time, and with-in minutes we were watching the most amazing site...little baby Mikolaj was bouncing and moving around like crazy! There was a very obvious a heart beat and a very active baby. We could have watched it all day! It's little arms were moving, and striking a pose, as our doctor pointed out..."that HAS to be a girl," she said! The little thing was also opening and closing it's mouth, as if hungry...a sure sign that it is my child! We were finally able to breath a sigh of relief! Here are a few pics from today, although the pics were hard to get as the little thing would not hold still!






On July 9th, we went in for a visit at 10 weeks. This was purely for my sanity, as they think my miscarriage occured around 10 weeks. We were told everything looked good. The baby had a heart rate of 158 beats per minute. And we got some pretty amazing pictures, as the baby was actually still...



Look at those fingers and toes! I am convinced those can only be little girly princess feet!!



And the baby was nice enough to wave hello to us... (and no, Mikolaj's, the baby was NOT waving a Terrible Towel!)



We are happy to be able to share this exciting time with all of you, and will keep the updates coming. I am definitely ready to start feeling better, but have welcomed the sick/fatigue as a good sign over the past several weeks. There is still no "bump" and my clothes still fit, but as that starts to change, maybe a photo will appear! Stay tuned...